So some of you may know, and some are you going to know, that my mom passed away at the beginning of the summer. She had horrible cancer and it just all got to her. It’s been kinda hard on me every since. I think about her constantly. I took care of her the past 2 years. I sat with her and helped her do stuff and helped her stay comfortable. I get kind of tired of people saying “I know what you are going through.” or “Oh it wasn’t that bad.” I guess they don’t understand the whole cancer thing. My mom was never feeling good. She just felt not so bad. She always hurt. She had a heck of a lot more bad days then she did “decent”. I watched her hurt for a long time, not being able to do anything but say “It will be okay”. So yea, I won’t ramble too long about that.
So school started up. I like my classes, but they are super hard. They push my designing way up, which is good. It’s going to be a good semester. I need to find a job though. Been looking all over. It’s hard man. I see all these kids get jobs like nothing, and I need a job and I don’t get a nip. People told me to call the places I apply to see how things are doing. That it will greater my chance of getting the job. Ha, I have called a couple of places and they have either lied to me or flat out told me I didn’t get it. I wish they told me why they chose a 16 year old ditsy person over a 21 year old hard working man. I was even willing to be paid minimum wage, but it’s whatever. I just need money so I can help my dad pay the bills and help with the groceries. We are kinda walking a tight wire right now. So yea.
Still single, that’s a thing. I know if you are still reading this you are probably can either relate or say I will find someone. I am super picky to be honest. But why shouldn’t I be? I don’t want to date just anyone. The new fad I see are girls who are ditsy and into Kate Perry and that shizz saying they are interested in me because I am a nerd. Apparently the cool thing is being nerds now and days. “Oh your nerdness is so cute.”, “Oh you play video games, that’s so cute.”, “Oh you use correct grammar, that’s so cute.” I am like “YEA I AM AWESOME, NOW GO AWAY.” Maybe not as harsh as that, but honestly, if you want someone that is nerdy and loves video games and use correct grammar, why do you think they would want you back if you have none of those common interests? I mean some guys/girls would love that, but honestly I look for a relationship that is going to last a while. And in order for that to happen, there has to be some common ground. You like me because I play video games, well how about you play some with me? I will be more than happy to teach you. But just don’t shrug it off and be like “That’s your thing.” Same with other stuff. You think it’s cute that I like Doctor Who? How about we watch it together, would make my day. Haha.
So I think this enough of my aimless rambling. If you read this far, you get an internet hug from me ;D. Take care everyone and be safe.
Haven’t posted a ramble/rant in a while haha. Sooo I am so close to finishing the semester woo. I am done with 2 classes, and two more to go. The hard classes are out of the way. So relieved. Gah, illustration 2 drag me through a couple layers of hell, I swear. But it’s over. I am drinking lots of coffee today. Well I went to bed around 2am this morning and my dog decided he wanted to wake me up around 5am. Silly dog. So yea, coffee is running as my blood right now. Woo future kidney stones.
Yea so I have picked up a couple games recently. I play minecraft as usual, but I picked up warlock, which is like the best thing ever. It’s like civilization franchise but with dragons and wizards and such. It freaking blows my mind and makes me happy. It brings back fond memories of my childhood playing these “Godmode” games. It’s just awesome. Also, I pre-ordered torchlight 2 because I am a hipster when it comes to diablo. But honestly, I love the torchlight series so much more.
I actually use to have torchlight the original, but I lost it when my old computer crashed. So recently I have been playing the original torchlight, and I forgot how much I loved that game. It’s just freaking amazing. Haha, yea.
And another random note, I have basically lost my interest in music recently. I have been trying to get into listening to all genres, but it just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I may be broken T_T. So yea, that’s all my rambling for now :P. I give you kudos if you actually read this. I will give you a virtual hug.
Haven’t done this in a while. Haha. Soo yea where shall I begin. I got myself a new microphone/headset. So I have been making youtube gaming videos and such. Its super fun :3. I want to make more! Bleh College. Where shall I even BEGIN. Sigh. Its end of semester. I hate this part. STRESS LEVEL SO HIGH. Its not even fathomable. Gah. I have so much to do in not enough time. I just want to explode. To think in like two weeks from now, I will be on cloud 9. I hope atleast. Sigh. I am turning in all my stuff for design and layout class tomorrow. I am working on my final animation for my animation class. Working on my painting and portfolio for color theory. And ceramics…. I am doing my best, even though I know I prob will fail. I am praying for a D lol. I just am horrible at it >____> Lol. My moms in the hospital and I get the house to myself. Yes I still live with my parents. My dad is being his dingy self. He was driving earlier and we got lost. We saw some great sights though. He also has been talking to his co-worker thats female a lot. Its kinda weird. He just complains about work and all. It’s still odd. Idk how I should take it. Oh and random, Still lonely. I need a wife lol. Or friends. Yep. End of Ramble, kk goodnight. Oh am going to shave before I sleep. Yep its 12:09 am and I am going to shave. I am awesome. Goodnight TuMblr :3.
And this person buys 3 of the things I post. The shipping was 3$ For each. They send me not one, but three messages saying “Can you make the shipping cheaper since I bought 3 things”. I explained to them that shipping isn’t cheap. And these aren’t small things. A day and a half goes by and no answer and they never paid. I send a short messages saying “Hey are you going to pay or not?” They write this huge reply saying how they were going to buy everything, but since I was in a rush to get my money and was immature, that they would just pay and look elsewhere for stuff. >___>. Its simply ridiculous. I see it like this. You buy something, you know what you are paying for it, and yet you want to argue it cheaper? Its ebay, they could of bidded for it, and probably got it cheaper, yet they bought it. Sigh, people are crazy.
So this is going to be my random. Expect to be taken everywhere with this. Haha. So college, Its been good. I mean, I feel like I am gaining gray hairs, but it could be worst. I love design in layout class. It pushes my designs further then I ever thought. I love just doing designs, and the professor is just amazing. My animation fun is pretty fun, its a bit too tedious for my liking, but its pretty good. My ceramics class is really fun, but my professor assigns a new project every week and its just sooooo much to handle. I love making pots and glazing them. And finally…… Color Theory. I love the people in this class, thats the only thing I like. Everything else just sucks about this class. Its just a horrible class. I will be looking for the end of the semester to end.
On another note, and a rather more sad note. My sisters fiance’s father passed away today. Its really sad. I only met him once. Hes gone to be with the lord. It might sound horrible, but its a blessing in disguise. He had a brain tumor and a good handful of other serious medical problems. Now he is pain free. If whoever reads this will pray for my sisters fiance’s family, it would be great.
Soooo, among all of this college work, I have been doing some “fun” things on the side. I really wish I had a better computer so I could record some gameplay and such, but I do what I can do for now. I have been playing a game called R.O.S.E Online. Its a MMORPG. Its unlike any other game I have played. Its cartoonish and just fun :3. I also have been doodling a lot. I am, though lacking in my tshirt creating, I might get back into that in a couple weeks. But really its mainly playing games on free time. I will post a picture later of my character in R.O.S.E :D.
I think that is it for my rambling haha. I am selling a bunch of my stuff. Tv series, books, and even my 0g plug collection. I am saving up for a new computer. :D. Okay guys, hope everything is going well.
Honestly, its nothing really negative. Its pretty much positive. For the most part I have been loving life. College has been keeping me busy and occupied, I am making a bit of cash from doing designs and tshirts and such, and I am recently house sitting for my neighbor getting some extra cash. God has really blessed me and he continues to. Mom has been doing mildly alright (I guess) with chemo. Yea it brings her down and makes her sore, but its a push, and you just have to have hope. And for the most part she is positive.
I have stretched my ears to half inch if y’all haven’t noticed. I also recently got my conch pierced :]. I have 5 piercings now, just in my ears though. Oh and I also got my head buzzed. Its been years since I have done this. It feels great :]. I just kinda love life. I mean I wish I had a girlfriend at times, so I can share stuff with her and cook for her and just be there for her. But hey, in God’s timing not mine :].
I hope all of my followers are doing well. I have been praying for you. In general that is, but a prayer is a prayer. I really hope everyone is alright and if anyone ever needs to chat or just vent, I am always around :]. Take care guys and stay safe.
Well not really, but I just haven’t really been active on tumblr. This is about to change! I have been busy with college and just life in general. As previously stated, I have stretched my ears to half. No pictures yet due to my camera being broken, my webcam only takes pictures upside down, and my phone sucks at taking pics. I will work on one though for yall. Umm, Ceramics class is fun! I am getting better at the potters wheel. Slowly, but surely. I am also getting paid to let my neighbors dog out woo. Extra money is amazing. Umm, God has been great :].
I haven’t really had one of my rambles recently. Well its due. So here we go. I feel like I am kind of overwhelmed with college. And to be exact, I am overwhelmed with my electives, not even the classes that I need. I am taking color theory again and design and layout for my major, and I am doing fine and its not even stressful. But for my electives I picked ceramics and animation, and I feel like I am working super overtime with them.
In ceramics, my professor goes and throws on the potter wheel and is like okay do that. And mine and a few others jaws just drop. I made one bowl on the potters wheel the past two weeks. One bowl. Oh and we need to have 4 by next Wednesday. Woo. Oh and animation, that’s not hard, its just so blah. I sit in a dark computer room, basically by myself, no one talks to me. Oh and the teacher is pretty bland. I do enjoy learning both ceramics and animation, but they are so stressful.
Okay I will talk about my other classes. In my design and layout we are designing a book cover. Its actually really fun and really pushes me to be a great designer. And in my color theory class, there are some awesome people there to talk to that make it so much better. Well this has been my little ramble. Hope everyone is well, take care.
So recently for some odd reason, I have felt like I have been seeing my ex everywhere. I am well over her, but its just odd. I kind of get this bleh feeling. Like I miss what we were, but I don’t miss her. Anywho, I looked up her profile on facebook for kicks. She kind of looks terrible. She has loads of makeup on and looks rather trashy. I will admit, it did make me giggle at first. But then I felt bad. I felt like her life went downhill after she broke up with me. Idk. I know shes probably out there having “fun” drinking the night away, doing God knows what with God knows who. But bleh. Kind of depressing.
Yet another Ramble. Woo. Sooooo, first off, I love college so far. Its pretty awesome. I thank God for that. I really prayed it would be an amazing semester, and so far it is. So yea :]. My computer has been running REALLY slow. This freaks me out. I need my computer to design and do various stuff. So, if I were to loose it, idk. I would go bald. I need to save up for a new one, but I have no income :(. Sucks. Oh and I have been feeling so alone recently. I don’t know. I just feel like a linkin park song. I forget which :P. But yea, I just wish someone was there for me. I know God is there, but it would be nice to have some earthly fellowship as well. Idk, maybe I am just crazy, maybe my depression is just talking. Who knows. Bleh. I hate how it gets cold then gets hot here. I just want the cold. Make it cold please. Haha. I have sold 2 more shirts on my website, woot. Kind of makes me smile a bit more. Yerp. Wellll I hope everyone is well. Let me know if I can pray for you or if you need help :]. I always accept friendship :P. Adios.
But hey, I have an odd life. Haha. Another one of my rambles. I have been failing pretty hardly with my relationship with Christ. I felt like the last week or so I put a blindfold on and acted like a retard. I am sorry. I am trying to get myself out of this ditch I fell in. But anywho, can you pray for me. Not an urgent prayer, but it would be nice that people pray for me to be more of a man for God and to be an example among men. Anywho, Pray for my mom still, she is having hard time with Chemo and this cancer. Thanks guys :].
So apparently I am going to get hit by a hurricane? Should be fun. I might be able to get on here for a couple days! Ohs Noz. Haha, I will survive. I will be praying for the safety of others and myself. I hope it doesn’t do too much :/.
If you want me to pray for you just leave me a thing in my ask box if you want, I am always open to people to pray for :]. Prayer is such a powerful and great thing. It could lead so many directions. Please don’t hesitate, no prayer is too big or small.
Well I think this wraps up this little ramble and prayer request thing haha. Hope everyone is well :D. Take care :P
A couple things I want to ramble on about now haha. First off, I feel like a looser, but I just want some to cuddle so bad. Its weird :/. Not going into further with that haha. I start T-Shirt shop thingy. I am making mod related and just silly tshirts. So ask me for the link if you are interested. Guess this is going to be a shorter ramble haha. I start college soon, kind of nervous, but kind of ready for it. Idk, whats everyone been upto? Ask me stuff people, tell me stuff. :D
So I went to purpledoor the past weekend. It was so amazing. I got to spend some good time with my cousin. I also learned so much in such a short amount of time. My view towards faith and God has changed. I love the fact that even mature Christians can still learn so much. :]. Today I am going to fast until 8pm. I am going to be praying a lot and digging int Ephesians while I fast. Let me know if I can pray for you! Please, don’t hesitate, I will :]
Time to ramble. Couple things. First off, I kind of fell off my diet and exercise. I am going to try to go back today to it. I don’t think I gained the weight back per say. But I am still trying to loose it.
So this is going to be a long rant/ramble. I have a “friend”. Its a lady friend, but shes like my younger sister. Its one of those kinds of friends that wants to be friends on their terms, not yours. She texts me one word answers and such. She only tells me she misses me when she sees me. I am always around for her. I am always here. And yet it takes me to go see her, in order for her to tell me she misses me. I put a facebook status a little while back. “I am more than just a name in your contact list”. I have had friends like her a while ago. I know how it works. When she wants to talk about this particular subject of feels this way, she pulls up my name, like I am a specialist. That’s not how friendship works in my eyes. I treat my friends all the same. I text them often just to see how they are and where they are in life. But the usual excuse is “I have too many friends”. Friends are like pets. If you are going to have 100 pets, you have to manage time with those pets in order for them to want to be around you. I guess I wasn’t the million friend kind of person. I believe in quality not quantity. I mean I have plenty of acquaintances. But a friend means a lot more to me than the usual person. If you are my friend, you are there for me and I am there for you. Its a relationship, not a chore. I don’t know. It hurts my feelings when someone doesn’t talk to you for weeks, then says they misses you. I have been here the whole time lady.
Anywho, this weekend I am going to Purple Door :]. I am so excited, going with my best friend and his family. Chillen in PA, listening to hardcore music. Yep, going to love it :]. Ah I can’t wait.
So me and my friend are debating on starting a nonprofit shirt company. We are thinking of making t shirts then selling them for a little more than the cost to make them, and give the money we make to local charity’s. Or something along those lines. We feel like we have a calling to do so.
Well I think this is it for my rant and ramble. Hope everyone is well! Take care :].